Just 2 more weeks.

The school did it again. I dropped B off and I am told they are having SMORES as a special treat.

REALLY?  Like, seriously.... WHOLE schools are peanut free due to allergies. We cant find a freaking activity that doesn't require a shitload of sugary food for the class with the diabetic?

I honestly wonder if that doesn't count as discrimination? At the very least its mean and rude. While her class made and ate smores, Bella had her snack in the directors office and read a book.

That really pisses me off. 

Guess what!

Trace is 11 weeks old ( gosh, is that ALL?)  and he weighs about 14lbs. EXCLUSIVELY breastfed, that is some GOOD milk! :)

And I have lost 33lbs since he was born. Now, you  might not think thats much but I only gained 17 or so pounds during my entire pregnancy! So I weigh less NOW than I did when I got pregnant. Yay me!

I dont claim to know what I'm doing....

But I let the 5yo eat whatever she wanted the other day and she didnt need any Humolog all day and her numbers stayed in range all day too. Of course the next day we went back tot he normal forcing carbs and pushing insulin and BAM! 375! WTF?

I really wish we could adjust things so that she could eat normally and we could dose insulin according to her diet rather than give her X amount of insulin and force XX amount of carbs to compensate for the insulin.

45 carbs is easy some times... say a ham sandwich ( 27 carbs) and some cheeseits (17carbs) , throw in a string cheese and some water or crystal light and you are good to go. Easy 45 carb lunch that a 5 yo will eat. But dinner, of say a chicken breast (0) and green beans( 10) and rice ( 35) isnt hard either until you are fussing at your kid to eat the CUP of rice required to get those numbers and ignoring the chicken on her plate. That will never sit well with me. Why cant we have less insulin and a normal 1/4-1/2 cup of rice?

Whats really odd is that the night she had no insulin( well, she had her Lantus)  her numbers were EXCELLENT... 150-100 , she only  dropped to just under 70 in the early morning hours.  But the night when we push carbs and insulin we have to pump her up to 250+ to get her high enough because she crashes between 4-6am. ( Side note- I wish we had an alert dog. Granna- that does not mean to go buy one!)

It would be awesome to sleep instead of check her every 2-3 hours throughout the night.

On the other end, Mr. Man is getting huge! ( was he ever small?) Hes smiling and starting to laugh, jabbering a good bit and he has the CUTEST little diapered butt! See!

I just started cloth diapering this past week! Love it and I'm thoroughly obsessed now!

nothing but a negative

some people will get it.

I never know what to say when something bad happens. i dont cry, i dont break down. i go into action, brick walls go up to distance to distance myself from the situation. no i dont cry, if I ever start....well, i wouldnt want to be around.


In all of the blogs and posts Ive read from over D parents, moms talk about the hate they have for diabetes. I dont get it.

I dont HATE diabetes. diabetes is not a thing... diabetes is a lack of proper function. the absence of function actually.... diabetes is a negative, therefore it cannot win, because it is nothing.  the only weapon diabetes has is a lack of control. well, guess what... I'm a control freak.

challenge accepted.You can try to haunt every member of my family, but I will control you into submission.

There is a plan....

6 months ago I learned that I am a carrier of the cystic fibrosis gene Delta 508. I am probably the first person in history to not freak out about this, because I knew that even if Nathan was a carrier too that even IF Trace had CF there is a "cure" coming. I know this, because one of my best friends is also a carrier  and her daughter actually has CF.

That day I thought Nathan would be a carrier. I thought that was why this friend was in my life.  to prepare me for a child with CF. To set me up with a wonderful resource and support system. But he wasnt. So, I'm lucky enough that I only need to warn my kids when they decide to have kids one day. ( well, before then, but you get the point)

The day Bella was diagnosed I was at home packing up our house while Nathan took her to the ER.  I was also on the phone with this friend who knows every little in and out of our childrens hospital, who also offered  silent prayers and support ( because she knows I cant handle emotional stuff and LORD KNOWS that day I'd have lost my mind) but also lead me by example that although our kids fight different battles. the WAR is the same.

Daily fights to keep thier bodies as healthy os possible, to keep outside influences from complicating matters, just the right amount of food and meds at just the right time. avoiding germs and certain situations.

So... thats why. I have some wonderful friends, friends who go out of thier way to help, who THINK and avoid certain things that they know we cant have. but its a special thing to have someone who gets it. Even though I'm just starting to. wee fight different battles. but the war is the same.

 Thank you for getting it, and helping me realize I'm still human yesterday... and making me feel human again.  and I love my hair!:)