I've had it just about up to here..... why does the school insist on having food based activities every week. Last week it was "Dirt n Worms"- thankfully I got a warning the day before, was able to discuss it with B and choose how to address the situation after our talk and some carb counting... But not today.
Today I dropped B off and the Asst Director informs me AFTER my child is already inside that they are having an activity today where the wrap marshmallows in crescent rolls and bake them... somehow simulating Jesus and the resurrection? Anyway guess what Marshmallows are made of... SUGAR! And bread... you get the picture. I didn't have a chance to talk to B about it, I didnt have time to look it all up because the 9 people in line behind me probably wanted me out of the way.. so I let it go with a "She cant eat that".... 4 hours later I pick up a grouchy 5yo who is ticked because she couldnt eat the extra"snack" and even better yet... the TEACHER ate hers. Yeah. Lovely aint it?
I don't get why they have to have FOOD based activities? Don't we already have an obesity epidemic in this state? And why is it that because your kid is allergic to peanuts, I cant send peanut butter crackers but my kid has diabetes and they still fill the room with sugar? And not just in the room, but they make ACTIVITIES out of it? And my daughter cant fully participate because the school was too insensitive to find a way to recreate the Resurrection in food without carbs? Kinda freakin mean if you ask me. But seriously.... we take precautions to protect kids with allergies, cant we take the same precautions with mine? I know looking a sugar wont kill her, but making a 5yr old feel excluded every week isnt doing anything for her self esteem either.
Thursday, March 28, 2013
Wednesday, March 20, 2013
I get phone calls from the school everyday. EVERY. DAY. Its usually a question about snacks, so I got a letter from the Endo stating that due to medical concerns we should provide snacks. YAY! I thought that solved the problem. Until I got a call saying they couldnt find the letter, in the BRIGHT ORANGE folder I put it in. EXACTLY where I told them it would be.
Today I got a call because TOMORROW they are making "dirt & worms". For anyone who doesnt know, dirt & worms is chocolate pudding, covered in crushed oreos and a gummi worm. They couldnt give me more of a heads up? This is seriously the craft activity they had to do in her classroom? FFS people.
I also went to register B for kindergarten today. Talk about CHAOS- I mean really... CHA-OS! They have no nurse, well ok, they do, bbut she "drops by" twice a week. Really? NOT going to work for the child who needs an insulin injection every day at lunch. Dont even get me started on an emergency Glucagon injection. Of course the office secretary said she could probably figure it out and 3 other random people offered the same.... SOOOOooooo helpful and comforting. WTF? you dont just FIGURE OUT a life sustaining injection.
Oh and they have never had a diabetic student before either, especially not an insulin dependant one.... yeah I'm freaking out just a little. What do we do? Homeschool? Try to wrk with that? Move?
Oh and I might be having surgery next week. two days in bed sounds great but other than that can we please get a break?
Today I got a call because TOMORROW they are making "dirt & worms". For anyone who doesnt know, dirt & worms is chocolate pudding, covered in crushed oreos and a gummi worm. They couldnt give me more of a heads up? This is seriously the craft activity they had to do in her classroom? FFS people.
I also went to register B for kindergarten today. Talk about CHAOS- I mean really... CHA-OS! They have no nurse, well ok, they do, bbut she "drops by" twice a week. Really? NOT going to work for the child who needs an insulin injection every day at lunch. Dont even get me started on an emergency Glucagon injection. Of course the office secretary said she could probably figure it out and 3 other random people offered the same.... SOOOOooooo helpful and comforting. WTF? you dont just FIGURE OUT a life sustaining injection.
Oh and they have never had a diabetic student before either, especially not an insulin dependant one.... yeah I'm freaking out just a little. What do we do? Homeschool? Try to wrk with that? Move?
Oh and I might be having surgery next week. two days in bed sounds great but other than that can we please get a break?
Tuesday, March 19, 2013
I'm so exhausted that if I close my eyes or turn my head too fast I get disoriented. Its like being drunk, only cheaper. And in small doses.
Today was the day of not eating. B didnt finish a single meal. Imagine a mother yelling at her 5yo to STOP eating her veggies and just eat her mashed potatos, spaghetti, pancakes....we went through a lot of juice, but at least she didnt go low until almost bedtime.
Its been rough. I need some wine and a pillow. The nap I had planned was skipped when the sleeping baby woke up as soon as Bella fell asleep.As soon as he fell back to sleep the phone rang and it was time to wake her up.
I need to do that thing where women who just had a baby stay in bed and do nothing but nurse a baby for a few days. I have nothing intelligent to say its been a long stressful day. If I'm lucky I can get the baby to sleep and a bowl of cereal for dinner.
Today was the day of not eating. B didnt finish a single meal. Imagine a mother yelling at her 5yo to STOP eating her veggies and just eat her mashed potatos, spaghetti, pancakes....we went through a lot of juice, but at least she didnt go low until almost bedtime.
Its been rough. I need some wine and a pillow. The nap I had planned was skipped when the sleeping baby woke up as soon as Bella fell asleep.As soon as he fell back to sleep the phone rang and it was time to wake her up.
I need to do that thing where women who just had a baby stay in bed and do nothing but nurse a baby for a few days. I have nothing intelligent to say its been a long stressful day. If I'm lucky I can get the baby to sleep and a bowl of cereal for dinner.
Saturday, March 16, 2013
Reality
I woke up at about 3 am the other night freaking out because B was asking for food and I forgot. She had come into our room hungry and I fell back asleep. Hungry means shes low and she does a lot of that at night. But then, I wasnt SURE she had come in. Why would I have told her to check her sugar in the middle of the night? Maybe I was dreaming. I had to wake Nathan up because I was so out of it and I could not tell what was real and what was a dream. We decided that I had dreamt it, and her sugar was fine so we didnt wake her.
Maybe thats a sign you are eexhausted? I dont think I've slept more than 2 hours at a time in the past month. Its really probabley more like the past 10 months, since I got pregnant. but whos counting?
I get T to sleep at about 11 and usually pass out right after him. I check B's sugar before I do, then set an alarm for 2-3 hour intervals throughout the night. Depending on her previous reading I may or may not check it at the next alarm. I always check at 4am when I'm up nursing T and may check it at 6 if she was below 150.
I hear this is normal and will continue.... the getting up. The endocrinologist doesnt seem to feel the need to check so often, but when I've seen her sugar plummet 100 points in an hour... and it really does threaten her life if it gets too low... I'm going to check it.
I'm driving Nate crazy. I talk to him about the indiocincracities ( is tht right?) of her body and its responses non stop. I'm still learning, because I've never needed to be involvd this deeply in his own care. And when I'm learning, I talk things to death. He ought to be used to it though, at least its not carseats, right? lol
Maybe thats a sign you are eexhausted? I dont think I've slept more than 2 hours at a time in the past month. Its really probabley more like the past 10 months, since I got pregnant. but whos counting?
I get T to sleep at about 11 and usually pass out right after him. I check B's sugar before I do, then set an alarm for 2-3 hour intervals throughout the night. Depending on her previous reading I may or may not check it at the next alarm. I always check at 4am when I'm up nursing T and may check it at 6 if she was below 150.
I hear this is normal and will continue.... the getting up. The endocrinologist doesnt seem to feel the need to check so often, but when I've seen her sugar plummet 100 points in an hour... and it really does threaten her life if it gets too low... I'm going to check it.
I'm driving Nate crazy. I talk to him about the indiocincracities ( is tht right?) of her body and its responses non stop. I'm still learning, because I've never needed to be involvd this deeply in his own care. And when I'm learning, I talk things to death. He ought to be used to it though, at least its not carseats, right? lol
Wednesday, March 13, 2013
Things You Don't Say...
to the mom of a diabetic child... I'm sure I'll add more to this in the future but to cover the past 4 weeks.
1. Well, at least its ONLY diabetes.
2. How can you stand giving her shots?
3. Will she out grow it?
4. At least she is young and wont remember much before she was diabetic.
5. Can she eat that?
6. Its from all that processed food.
7. Oh I know all about diabetes. My aunt just found out she has it... may cat is diabetic.. I SAW STEEL MAGNOLIAS!.
8. Is it that bad kind?
9. I need a child free break....
10. I'm so exhausted, I only slept 6 hours last night...
11. So she cant have sweets, bread, pasta, rice, etc?
and the kicker...
12. Oh you think thats bad? I had.... (insert random stupid irresponsible totally preventable problem here)...happen to me last week. THAT was horrible, Can you believe it?
And just so you know, I'm not bitter, I'm not upset. Diabetes is a fact of life in our house. It has been for the past 33 years for Nathan, for the past 9yrs for me and that will continue. Now we just adapt everything .
1. Well, at least its ONLY diabetes.
2. How can you stand giving her shots?
3. Will she out grow it?
4. At least she is young and wont remember much before she was diabetic.
5. Can she eat that?
6. Its from all that processed food.
7. Oh I know all about diabetes. My aunt just found out she has it... may cat is diabetic.. I SAW STEEL MAGNOLIAS!.
8. Is it that bad kind?
9. I need a child free break....
10. I'm so exhausted, I only slept 6 hours last night...
11. So she cant have sweets, bread, pasta, rice, etc?
and the kicker...
12. Oh you think thats bad? I had.... (insert random stupid irresponsible totally preventable problem here)...happen to me last week. THAT was horrible, Can you believe it?
And just so you know, I'm not bitter, I'm not upset. Diabetes is a fact of life in our house. It has been for the past 33 years for Nathan, for the past 9yrs for me and that will continue. Now we just adapt everything .
Sunday, March 3, 2013
Eyes in the back of your head...
Moms always know what thier kids are up to. Little bumps in the night are usually a little one sneaking out of bed for a book or another stuffed animal. An eye rub too many means a meltdown is coming if a nap isnt had, and soon. Something about the way B was constantly bugging me for a drink, sometimes 3 glasses of water at bedtime just did not sit right with me. After a while I really began to wonder if something was up.
I asked Nate to check her blood sugar but the only other symptom she had was frequnt urination, and as much as she was drinking that was understandable. So we put it out of our heads.
And then she was EATING us out of house and home, but we thought that was backwards, that it was a lack of appetite, so again, we pushed the notion aside, saying that if she was diabetic, she would be losing weight.
Then her jeans were loose. Jeans that I prviously had trouble buttoning, they had an inch of slack. So I asked my dad to weigh her, thinking she was just getting taller and slimming up some. But she had lost a few pounds... could have been the scale. But it still just didnt sit right with me.
Then the weekend after T was born, she wet the bed, 2 nights in a row. This child has been night trained since she was 2. THAT really made me wonder, but MAYBE it was her adjusting to the baby, maybe she was just exhausted since her grandparents were here. But it wasnt RIGHT.
Finally, we checked her sugar. Nate and I had been in the ER all night, IL's were with B, and when we got home she was still awake- and asking for a 3rd glass of water after bedtime. MIL said she was inthe bathroom all night. I finally couldnt fight it anymore. As much as I know Nate didint want it to be diabetes, one finger stick wouldnt hurt that bad and we would sleep, assured that she was just fine.
I did not expect it to actually be high. If any part of me did, I thought it would be a number, like 250, not off the charts. It simply read HIGH. I think every jaw in the room stopped, several hearts as well.
And so it began, Nathan and I, and his parents- who had obviously ben through this themselves- sat and discussed our options. ER tonight or pediatrician tomorrow? At some point B actually vomited and we rechecked her for a 4th time to see that it was finally low enough for a reading. If you can call 457 low.
The decision was finally made that we would watch her closely overnight, and Nate and IL's would take her to the childrens ER in the morning. I would stay home with the baby and pack us up for the hospital stay and go in once she was in a room.
Let me tell you, txt message updates while your 5 yr old is in the ER are horrible. My grandmother, who I am very close to, kept me sane while I packed up our lives for the next few days.
After several hours, I finally got the call taht she was in a room. In the ER they had officially diagnosd her as Type 1. Her blood sugar had actually dropped some overnight, to about 250, but still too high. She was started on insulin injections right away, and had the first one before I even got there.
The next 3 days were filled with learning to adapt everything we knew about Type 1 in a 33 yr old adult to a 5 yr old child. Her insulin is different, her diet, thankfully the two of them seem to react similarly to certain foods. OJ sends them both sky high, pasta might as well be protein.
She really is adapting well. Finger sticks are no big deal 98% of the time. She doesnt usually fight about injections anymore, although she will whine a bit. Overall, she is doing splendidly. There are the hard moments, When she cries how much she hates it, and just wants to be normal ( I wish I could explain to her that there is no normal). this is usually at 3 am when we are force feeding her carbs and juice.
But she is strong, and she is resilient, and overall, she is BELLA.
I asked Nate to check her blood sugar but the only other symptom she had was frequnt urination, and as much as she was drinking that was understandable. So we put it out of our heads.
And then she was EATING us out of house and home, but we thought that was backwards, that it was a lack of appetite, so again, we pushed the notion aside, saying that if she was diabetic, she would be losing weight.
Then her jeans were loose. Jeans that I prviously had trouble buttoning, they had an inch of slack. So I asked my dad to weigh her, thinking she was just getting taller and slimming up some. But she had lost a few pounds... could have been the scale. But it still just didnt sit right with me.
Then the weekend after T was born, she wet the bed, 2 nights in a row. This child has been night trained since she was 2. THAT really made me wonder, but MAYBE it was her adjusting to the baby, maybe she was just exhausted since her grandparents were here. But it wasnt RIGHT.
Finally, we checked her sugar. Nate and I had been in the ER all night, IL's were with B, and when we got home she was still awake- and asking for a 3rd glass of water after bedtime. MIL said she was inthe bathroom all night. I finally couldnt fight it anymore. As much as I know Nate didint want it to be diabetes, one finger stick wouldnt hurt that bad and we would sleep, assured that she was just fine.
I did not expect it to actually be high. If any part of me did, I thought it would be a number, like 250, not off the charts. It simply read HIGH. I think every jaw in the room stopped, several hearts as well.
And so it began, Nathan and I, and his parents- who had obviously ben through this themselves- sat and discussed our options. ER tonight or pediatrician tomorrow? At some point B actually vomited and we rechecked her for a 4th time to see that it was finally low enough for a reading. If you can call 457 low.
The decision was finally made that we would watch her closely overnight, and Nate and IL's would take her to the childrens ER in the morning. I would stay home with the baby and pack us up for the hospital stay and go in once she was in a room.
Let me tell you, txt message updates while your 5 yr old is in the ER are horrible. My grandmother, who I am very close to, kept me sane while I packed up our lives for the next few days.
After several hours, I finally got the call taht she was in a room. In the ER they had officially diagnosd her as Type 1. Her blood sugar had actually dropped some overnight, to about 250, but still too high. She was started on insulin injections right away, and had the first one before I even got there.
The next 3 days were filled with learning to adapt everything we knew about Type 1 in a 33 yr old adult to a 5 yr old child. Her insulin is different, her diet, thankfully the two of them seem to react similarly to certain foods. OJ sends them both sky high, pasta might as well be protein.
She really is adapting well. Finger sticks are no big deal 98% of the time. She doesnt usually fight about injections anymore, although she will whine a bit. Overall, she is doing splendidly. There are the hard moments, When she cries how much she hates it, and just wants to be normal ( I wish I could explain to her that there is no normal). this is usually at 3 am when we are force feeding her carbs and juice.
Saturday, March 2, 2013
Trace's Birth Story
I've already blocked out exactly how long my pregnancy was... I think it was 41 wks 4 days. Eithe r way, Trace was born 9 months to the day from his conception... maybe he will be the only punctual person in the family. Of course, depending on who you ask, he WAS 11 days late. lol
The day before my sweet boy decided to finally make his arrival was a Thursday. B and I got up early to gert her off to preschool and I hung out at the IL's waiting for her to get out. I had a few random contractions and was texting my doula, but really wasnt expecting much. After all, by 41 wks 4 days I was convinced that I would be pregnant forever. But, they were a bit uncomfortable and I had also had a few the night before so I went ahead and picked B up a few minutes early and we headed home for lunch and a nap.
About an hour later, I had a pretty intense contractions that woke me up and lasted about 3 minutes! ( yes, 3 minutes... did I mention labor with a posterior baby sucks? just wait) I sat up a few minutes later to go to the bathroom and felt an odd sensation. It funny because when my water broke with B I thought the exact same thing.... " Did I just pee on myself?" After a way TMI phone call to my ( awesome, wonderful, fanstastic) doula we decided that I probably had an amniotic leak and things would get going. Called the hubby to let him know and told B that the baby was FINALLY going to come out!
Things progressed slowly, contractions were random, my dad picked B up at about 4:30 and Nathan was home already, but nothing was really happening. Finally at about midnight things started to get organized, within about 30 minutes I was having contractions 4 minutes apart and they were getting really uncomfortable. I woke Nate up and called Melissa, my doula. She arrived a few minutes later and we all just hung out for a while. At some point, maybe 3 am? I started shaking and vomiting with contractions and we talked about how posterior babies can cause a sort of false transition at about 5 cm. That passed and I continued to work thru contractions, things changed, I started to get quiet, tried to rest and then the vomiting started again, contractions were suddenly one of top of the other and I was shaking. I was wondering if we should go in to L&D, meanwhile Melissa and Nathan were already loading the car!
At 5am we were in route to the hospital.Now I should probably throw out there that I wanted a natural birth. I had fought long and hard and my OB was completely on board. My daughter was only 6lb 7 oz and I had the utmost faith that my body could do this. When we got to the hospital it was still really early and we had to go in thru the ER, the triage nurse who took me up chose the WORST elevator ever, it was full- with an orderly and a huge cart of laundry. She tried to cram the whelchair in the elevator. It wouldnt fit. The orderly offered to get out with is cart, but that would take too long. I literally jumpd out of the wheelchair, said "Fold it up and get in!" and jumped on the elevator.
Once we got upstairs the fighting began. I knew all about what not to sign and was on my hands and knees, laboring, fighting with the nurses about signing paperwork, crossing thru stuff and complaining about the IV ( although I settled with a heplock). I mean, REALLY? Why did I fill out all the pre-admit junk if you are going to insist on asking me when I am in labor all the same questions?
Once that was over with I stripped out of the stupid cumbersome gown they had put on me and put my sports bra BACK on and got in the tub. I'm not going to lie, I had way too much faith in the damn tub working. I am a water baby, always have been. I love it, it relaxes me. I was going to have this relaxing, not too painful because I was in the tub labor... HA! Oh and did I mention, I was only 4cm? All those transition symptoms... I didnt want to get checked.... stupid nurses. I was doing great until then, and when I heard 4, FOUR! I felt so defeated, I wasnt even halfway there?!?!?! I was going to need that epidural.... and thats how it began. I had been doing great, and that ONE word, FOUR and that did me in. I was in the tub, not feeling any sort of relaxed and telling Melissa, I want the epidural... no response. Ok, so maybe I needed to say it when I WASNT having a contractions. I tried again.... a call was made.
My OB was on his way and he wanted to see me before I got it. I knew he would try to talk me out of it, He had listened for 9 months about how strongly I wanted a natural childbirth... ok whatever, get him here.... and I waited. And then something changed. I felt all this pressure, and then my body started pushing...was it possible I moved from 4 to pushing that quickly? I honestly didnt believe it. There was a reason for that.... I had lots of pushing contractions. I had no control over it, but nothing was happening. At some point Melissa ran to the restroom and left me alone with Nathan...I dont know if it was because she was gone or if I just panicked but without going into detail, things changed and when she got back she and Nathan both thought the baby was coming right then.
The nurse came running in and when she checked me I was only about 6-7cm. And she realized what I had known for a month. He was posterior. Sunny side up. My OB was called. He said give me the Epi, it was going to be a while.
It took a while, WHY ARE ANETHESEOLOGISTS SO SLOW?(And how do you spell that anyway?) I was 9cm dilated by the time the guy decided to grace us with his presence! But once they gave me the epidural I was able to rest for a bit and the uncontrollable pushing stopped. Then the aching began first in my right hip, then my right thigh, deep in the bone, it burned and it ached. They tried turning it up, moving me, no luck. it didnt take on my right side.
At some point I started to feel pressure again. After a while I finally told Melissa that I didnt want to admit it, but I thought it was time to push. I was SO exhausted and I knew my break was over, that I was about to have to start working again. I pushed for what felt like forever, they tried turning the epidural up again, no luck. With Bella, I couldnt feel a thing, I could feel this, epidural or not, and it hurt like hell.
I was laying on my back, which I hated. I knew it wasnt the most productive position and I wasnt getting anywhere. I wanted to flip over on all fours, but the nurses woudnt let me because I had the epidural and "couldnt control my legs"..... wanna bet? Over I went, all on my own. I'm still not quite sure how I managed it, but I did. I've been told not only was it awesome but that the nurses faces were hilarious. Yes, I am proud of that moment. Unfortunately, the position didnt do any good and I went back to my back.
I pushed for about an hour, finally my OB came in ready to go. I've been told that even though my amniotic fluid was leaking all day and night, it broke right as Trace crowned and ruined my doctors shoes. He was posterior and my OB was able to turn him at the last minute ( thank goodness for a double jointed doctor) but he also had the cord around his neck 3 times and his shoulder caught on my pelvis. This kid just did NOT want to be born. All that said, he was born, not by cesarean, but vaginally, with a failed epidural, and since I didnt even get that until 9 cm, I'm calling it natural, for all intensive purposes.
Ethan Trace Nichols was finally born at 11:55 am on Feb 8th, 2013.He weighed 9lbs 2 oz and was 21.5 inches long.
The day before my sweet boy decided to finally make his arrival was a Thursday. B and I got up early to gert her off to preschool and I hung out at the IL's waiting for her to get out. I had a few random contractions and was texting my doula, but really wasnt expecting much. After all, by 41 wks 4 days I was convinced that I would be pregnant forever. But, they were a bit uncomfortable and I had also had a few the night before so I went ahead and picked B up a few minutes early and we headed home for lunch and a nap.
About an hour later, I had a pretty intense contractions that woke me up and lasted about 3 minutes! ( yes, 3 minutes... did I mention labor with a posterior baby sucks? just wait) I sat up a few minutes later to go to the bathroom and felt an odd sensation. It funny because when my water broke with B I thought the exact same thing.... " Did I just pee on myself?" After a way TMI phone call to my ( awesome, wonderful, fanstastic) doula we decided that I probably had an amniotic leak and things would get going. Called the hubby to let him know and told B that the baby was FINALLY going to come out!
Things progressed slowly, contractions were random, my dad picked B up at about 4:30 and Nathan was home already, but nothing was really happening. Finally at about midnight things started to get organized, within about 30 minutes I was having contractions 4 minutes apart and they were getting really uncomfortable. I woke Nate up and called Melissa, my doula. She arrived a few minutes later and we all just hung out for a while. At some point, maybe 3 am? I started shaking and vomiting with contractions and we talked about how posterior babies can cause a sort of false transition at about 5 cm. That passed and I continued to work thru contractions, things changed, I started to get quiet, tried to rest and then the vomiting started again, contractions were suddenly one of top of the other and I was shaking. I was wondering if we should go in to L&D, meanwhile Melissa and Nathan were already loading the car!
At 5am we were in route to the hospital.Now I should probably throw out there that I wanted a natural birth. I had fought long and hard and my OB was completely on board. My daughter was only 6lb 7 oz and I had the utmost faith that my body could do this. When we got to the hospital it was still really early and we had to go in thru the ER, the triage nurse who took me up chose the WORST elevator ever, it was full- with an orderly and a huge cart of laundry. She tried to cram the whelchair in the elevator. It wouldnt fit. The orderly offered to get out with is cart, but that would take too long. I literally jumpd out of the wheelchair, said "Fold it up and get in!" and jumped on the elevator.
Once we got upstairs the fighting began. I knew all about what not to sign and was on my hands and knees, laboring, fighting with the nurses about signing paperwork, crossing thru stuff and complaining about the IV ( although I settled with a heplock). I mean, REALLY? Why did I fill out all the pre-admit junk if you are going to insist on asking me when I am in labor all the same questions?
Once that was over with I stripped out of the stupid cumbersome gown they had put on me and put my sports bra BACK on and got in the tub. I'm not going to lie, I had way too much faith in the damn tub working. I am a water baby, always have been. I love it, it relaxes me. I was going to have this relaxing, not too painful because I was in the tub labor... HA! Oh and did I mention, I was only 4cm? All those transition symptoms... I didnt want to get checked.... stupid nurses. I was doing great until then, and when I heard 4, FOUR! I felt so defeated, I wasnt even halfway there?!?!?! I was going to need that epidural.... and thats how it began. I had been doing great, and that ONE word, FOUR and that did me in. I was in the tub, not feeling any sort of relaxed and telling Melissa, I want the epidural... no response. Ok, so maybe I needed to say it when I WASNT having a contractions. I tried again.... a call was made.
My OB was on his way and he wanted to see me before I got it. I knew he would try to talk me out of it, He had listened for 9 months about how strongly I wanted a natural childbirth... ok whatever, get him here.... and I waited. And then something changed. I felt all this pressure, and then my body started pushing...was it possible I moved from 4 to pushing that quickly? I honestly didnt believe it. There was a reason for that.... I had lots of pushing contractions. I had no control over it, but nothing was happening. At some point Melissa ran to the restroom and left me alone with Nathan...I dont know if it was because she was gone or if I just panicked but without going into detail, things changed and when she got back she and Nathan both thought the baby was coming right then.
The nurse came running in and when she checked me I was only about 6-7cm. And she realized what I had known for a month. He was posterior. Sunny side up. My OB was called. He said give me the Epi, it was going to be a while.
It took a while, WHY ARE ANETHESEOLOGISTS SO SLOW?(And how do you spell that anyway?) I was 9cm dilated by the time the guy decided to grace us with his presence! But once they gave me the epidural I was able to rest for a bit and the uncontrollable pushing stopped. Then the aching began first in my right hip, then my right thigh, deep in the bone, it burned and it ached. They tried turning it up, moving me, no luck. it didnt take on my right side.
At some point I started to feel pressure again. After a while I finally told Melissa that I didnt want to admit it, but I thought it was time to push. I was SO exhausted and I knew my break was over, that I was about to have to start working again. I pushed for what felt like forever, they tried turning the epidural up again, no luck. With Bella, I couldnt feel a thing, I could feel this, epidural or not, and it hurt like hell.
I was laying on my back, which I hated. I knew it wasnt the most productive position and I wasnt getting anywhere. I wanted to flip over on all fours, but the nurses woudnt let me because I had the epidural and "couldnt control my legs"..... wanna bet? Over I went, all on my own. I'm still not quite sure how I managed it, but I did. I've been told not only was it awesome but that the nurses faces were hilarious. Yes, I am proud of that moment. Unfortunately, the position didnt do any good and I went back to my back.
I pushed for about an hour, finally my OB came in ready to go. I've been told that even though my amniotic fluid was leaking all day and night, it broke right as Trace crowned and ruined my doctors shoes. He was posterior and my OB was able to turn him at the last minute ( thank goodness for a double jointed doctor) but he also had the cord around his neck 3 times and his shoulder caught on my pelvis. This kid just did NOT want to be born. All that said, he was born, not by cesarean, but vaginally, with a failed epidural, and since I didnt even get that until 9 cm, I'm calling it natural, for all intensive purposes.
Ethan Trace Nichols was finally born at 11:55 am on Feb 8th, 2013.He weighed 9lbs 2 oz and was 21.5 inches long.
Just a bit of recent history
T was born on Feb.8. Eventually I will write his birth story. The only NORMAL part of our lives since the night before his birth would be the days we spent in the hospital afterward. I came home with " unpleasant complications" meaning, nothing that would kill me, but it was painful and embarrassing and THANK GOD that is over with!
When T was 10 days old we had to return to the local ER for a second time due to my "issues" (BTW taking a newborn to an ER is TERRIFYING). When we got home that night, for various reason that I can detail later, we used my hubbys glucometer to check our 5yo daughter, B's. blood sugar because she had been acting a bit different. It was so high it didint even register a number, but only as "HIGH".
The next morning we took her to the local Childrens hospital where she was diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes and admitted. B spent 3 days in the hospital, newborn T in tow. We camped out with a pack and play, a rock in play and the most awesome nurses ever. Our childrens hospital is awesome. Nurses loaded B up with a ton of toys, her own stethoscope and a doctor kit complete with a ton of real medical supplies. She was "Dr. B". They made sure we were comfortable, never said a word about the baby being there and gave me several pats on the back for nursing T thru everything, even the constant stream of social workers, visitors and diabetes educators.
T was 2 weeks old before I spent more than 2 hours alone, in charge of both of my children. That same night the crying began. Maybe it was that for the first time there were only 2 arms to hold him instead of the multitude that had passed him around in the first 2 weeeks of his life. Maybe it was just timing. But every evening since has been punctuated by a fussy 5 year old, a crying infant, counting carbs, insulin injections and changing diapers. Welcome to my new normal, trying to navigate this new world and keep both children, clean, fed and quite honestly just ALIVE.
When T was 10 days old we had to return to the local ER for a second time due to my "issues" (BTW taking a newborn to an ER is TERRIFYING). When we got home that night, for various reason that I can detail later, we used my hubbys glucometer to check our 5yo daughter, B's. blood sugar because she had been acting a bit different. It was so high it didint even register a number, but only as "HIGH".
The next morning we took her to the local Childrens hospital where she was diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes and admitted. B spent 3 days in the hospital, newborn T in tow. We camped out with a pack and play, a rock in play and the most awesome nurses ever. Our childrens hospital is awesome. Nurses loaded B up with a ton of toys, her own stethoscope and a doctor kit complete with a ton of real medical supplies. She was "Dr. B". They made sure we were comfortable, never said a word about the baby being there and gave me several pats on the back for nursing T thru everything, even the constant stream of social workers, visitors and diabetes educators.
T was 2 weeks old before I spent more than 2 hours alone, in charge of both of my children. That same night the crying began. Maybe it was that for the first time there were only 2 arms to hold him instead of the multitude that had passed him around in the first 2 weeeks of his life. Maybe it was just timing. But every evening since has been punctuated by a fussy 5 year old, a crying infant, counting carbs, insulin injections and changing diapers. Welcome to my new normal, trying to navigate this new world and keep both children, clean, fed and quite honestly just ALIVE.
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